About ME

Once upon a time there was this women who loved her husband. They had a balance to their relationship for many years. Together they each had their own things going on and spent the rest of their time together. They moved far away from family and their lives slowly started to change. She lost herself in the trauma of her husband’s infidelity and his behavior towards her. She is now a shell of a person that is trying to pull herself back up again. She remembers pieces of herself – she needs to put it back into action. Below is who she is/was!

I love the GOD of Abraham, my Husband, and my Kids, they come first, always have and always will. I love animals and being out in the country. I love going for walks (adventures I call them) where there are trails and water (creeks and rivers). I love to be with my family, and couple time to sit around and talk about all things. I like talking politics (I’ve been out-of-the-loop for a while) and religion, I know both are taboo subjects. I like to work in my yard and build stuff. I am still finishing my degrees, never to old to finish. I enjoy meeting new people and being with family and friends. I’m a very outgoing person. I’m a social girl that loves to laugh and have fun. I have flaws like anyone else, I’m not perfect but I’m honest. I’m a stay at home mom going back to school to finish my degrees and help my husband manage his Chiropractic practice. I’m a web developer for many years and have PM many web projects while being home raising my kids. I’m always very very busy.

I love Family and Friend gatherings. I like making Pie Crust and Pumpkin pies with my daughter, oh and our pie crust sugar rolls with walnuts – YUMMY!, and Home Baked Bread. Halloween is our favorite time of the year. My husband loves to carve the pumpkins and I make the pumpkin seeds (It’s a 2 day process). I love planning dinner parties at my house for family and friends (Anyone that comes to my house is served – that was how I was raised). Tea with the girls (We love our Tea Houses) is such a special time. We take the kids on Nature Walks, and have bonfire’s together. I love to go to Museums of Fine Arts (Monet’s water lilies are my favorite – my favorite flower are water lilies.). I’m into Science and Computers – networking. My girlfriends call me the Tool Lady because I can drywall and mud, lots of electrical, Tile and hardwood floors, installing sinks, toilets, and garbage disposals, and I built an awesome retainer wall with my son’s help (he did a lot of digging for me). The wall is 30 ft long and 4 ft tall and I placed all 30 pound bricks myself. We’ve been very blessed that we have not had to hire someone to do one of my projects other than bartering with some of my web clients. I love to renovate my house, even my husband’s friends are impressed and have asked my advice on projects. .

I keep in great shape and still have my figure after having 3 kids.  I can still fit into a size 5.  People are shocked when they find out my age and tell me I look many years younger.  hehe!! God has blessed me with great genes!!

________________________

• Instead of following Christ’s model of servant leadership in the home, an abusive man views it as his God-given right to have power and control over his wife, and rewrites the scripture to give himself the right to punish her whenever she falls short of his expectations. Jesus would remind us that He, as head of the church, is the role model for the husband. Has he ever been controlling and abusive toward the church? Or does He, as a servant leader, lovingly guide and nurture His church?

… Although churches should offer unconditional love, far too often families are only accepted by the congregation if they seem to fit in with the status quo. …Jesus offers unconditional love and acceptance, and does not value a person for how he looks or what he owns. He said, “You are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside, but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. You try to look like upright people outwardly, but inside your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.” (Matthew 23:27-28 NLT)

… Although some churches are guilty of perpetuating family violence, many other church communities and pastors are actively involved in stopping the cycle of abuse, providing safety for the victim and help for the abuser. Does your church offer hope or perpetuate the pain? (From the article, “Abuse and The Church’s Role” as posted on TroubledWith.com.)

• Church leaders need to realize batterers can be manipulative. I know a woman in my community who went to her pastor for help because she was afraid of her husband. The pastor called her husband and asked that he and the wife come in for counseling. The poor woman was absolutely terrified to sit in a joint counseling session with her husband and said nothing while the husband smoothed things over.

Shortly after this, the woman made a decision to leave her husband. One night when she thought he was away, she returned home to get some of her things. The husband was there hiding and beat the woman so severely that parts of her brain were exposed.

Leaders also need to work to dismiss misinterpretations of Scripture such as 1 Peter 3:1-6, which abusers often use to defend their actions. It’s unbelievable how many Christian men think they’re entitled by God to discipline and control their wives. As 1 Peter 3:7 reminds us, no man has a God-given right to punish or retaliate against his wife under any condition. And a woman shouldn’t be led to think that through her submission and suffering she’ll become a better person. To allow someone to abuse you does not bring glory to God. (Corrie Cutrer, from article titled, “The Silent Epidemic” posted on Today’s Christian Woman —You can read entire article by clicking HERE)

• Marriage is for committed lovers, not hostages. Marriage is a sacred relationship created for two people who complete each other spiritually. While it requires sacrificial service, it is not a call to martyrdom. In many cases of domestic violence, a therapeutic separation is necessary to gain safety and direct attention to the gravity of the need for change. (Rob Jackson, from chapter “What If My Spouse Abuses Me?” from the book, “The First Five Years of Marriage”)