Fire Prevention – Preventing Work Affairs
Fire Prevention
Written by Joy Emery
This article courtesy of HomeLife.
Kirk is a great-looking guy. To top it off, he is Mr. Personality in the workplace. He really makes you feel valued when he greets you with a smile and a pleasant, “Good morning.”
Several months ago you considered him just a good friend, but things are changing. You and your husband have started treading rough waters at home, and now you look forward each day to seeing Kirk, who offers you the emotional support you’ve been missing. You have no idea whether Kirk feels the same, but you fear your feelings are crossing the line.
Is this an innocent office friendship, or are you beginning to play with fire?
Create Firewalls
In most workplaces today, men and women work side by side, day in and day out. Knowing there is always potential for temptation, Christians need to establish boundaries to keep from lighting the fire of lust.
1. Realize you can enjoy being around co-workers of the opposite sex. Don’t be alarmed when you find that you are drawn to certain people where your work. You will naturally be compatible with specific men and women. While there is no reason to avoid the opposite sex at work, danger looms when you haven’t set boundaries to protect both you and others.
2. Set boundaries ahead of time. The best time to plan for a house fire is before the fire starts. If you wait until you’re emotionally involved with someone before you set boundaries, you can count on losing your objectivity. Both you and your spouse need to eliminate the “it-could-never-happen-to-me” mentality. Saying a fire will never happen is not enough to keep it from happening. Determine exactly what you are going to do to avoid temptation and safeguard your marriage.
3. Solidify your boundaries by making a commitment to God, your spouse, and your children. Make a verbal commitment to those you love. It’s amazing what personal accountability will do to keep you honest before God when nobody else is watching.
4. Take yourself out of temptation’s way. If you continue to be pulled toward either an emotional relationship (which can be as difficult on a marriage as a physical
relationship) or a physical relationship with someone, flee from the temptation. Ask for a transfer. Get a job in another area or at another company. You are playing with fire if you put yourself in tempting or compromising situations each day.
5. Get help. Seek intervention before an extramarital encounter. But if you have given in to a sexual or an emotional relationship, get help. Although God could restore your marriage without the help of a counselor, you might need an objective party to help you and your spouse begin to work through all the issues that must be dealt with in order for healing to take place.
As Christians in the workplace, we need to make sure our intentions are pure. We need to be Christ-like in our speech, actions, and dress in order to be consistent and to protect our marriages.
Protective Boundaries for Your Marriage
Write down the boundaries you and your spouse create to protect your marriage. Consider these suggestions:
• We will not have meals alone with someone of the opposite sex.
• We will not ride alone with someone of the opposite sex.
• We will not dress or talk in a way that sends sexual signals to others.
• We will not hug someone of the opposite sex unless the person is a relative.
• We will not establish an intimate friendship with someone of the opposite sex.
• We will not confide in someone of the opposite sex regarding concerns about
our marriage.
• We will not watch movies, read books, or view Internet sites that justify affairs.
• We will be honest with each other and express concern regarding people of the opposite sex who appear to be interested in either of us.
Joy Emery is a former education minister and currently is a Christian Education Internet Producer for LifeWay.com. She lives with her husband, Chris, and three children in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee and serves in the adult Sunday School ministry at Hermitage Hills Baptist Church in Hermitage, Tennessee.
