Cheating and STD’s

I think my husband gave me an std I have received a call from my DR’s office yesterday saying I have tested positive for an STD.

I was tested last year and I didn’t have it then? My husband and I have been married for nearly six years. I know I have never cheated on him. Should I be worried that he’s cheated on me? I have not told him yet, I want to have a bit more information.

I’ve NEVER suspected him of cheating, found any phone numbers or odd text messages or phone calls NOTHING.

I’ve always told him that that was the quickest way to get a divorce, always joking of course because MY husband is not like other men!

Response:

Sorry to hear about your situation.

STDs are primarily spread through sexual contact (see, CDC fact sheet). So, it is very unlikely that you contracted an STD through nonsexual means. If you didn’t cheat on your husband, he most likely passed the STD on to you.

And it was probably wise not to confront your husband immediately, without first trying to gain additional information. Confronting a cheating spouse without doing some prep work often leads to negative outcomes – constant denials, changing stories and confusion (see, husband won’t confess).

Our best advice is to continue exploring the possibility that your husband had an affair. Affairs always leave a trail of evidence, and if you look hard enough, you may find the evidence you need to resolve this matter (see, how to catch a cheating spouse).

It is also possible that your husband contracted an STD through a brief sexual encounter – a one night stand. If that is the case, there may not be much to discover (see, sexual cues of infidelity).

And while most couples tell each other that they would never cheat or threaten to leave each other if they do, these conversations rarely have an impact on one’s behavior. Cheating is driven by many different factors which can be difficult to control (see, why people cheat).

Finally, we strongly encourage you to talk to a counselor about this situation. Having someone guide you through this process will help you avoid making many costly mistakes and minimize some of the pain you are bound to be feeling.

Hope this helps.

Comments (2)

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written by blank , March 27, 2008

Well as my story is similar, I found out the Very hard way that my “wonderful” husband of ten years has cheated… by way of STD test results! Although the STD is treatable and I will be fine health wise, it’s the cheating part that really gets me. He’s of course denied it, and has no idea how he got this STD he’s given me. And of course has never been with anyone else?!?!?!?!
The medical facts say that he’s a LIAR. However I have never been suspicious of him and our relationship has been really great for the whole marriage. Not by any means perfect but we have tons of fun together and we have a good sex life, we laugh a lot and travel together as frequently as possible.
At this point I really do want to believe that he’s being truthful with me but the medical facts say otherwise….
Confused

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written by lost molly , April 15, 2008

I have been married for 33 yrs and I contracted trich. I was with my mom a lot for health reasons in and out of the hospital. My husband swears he doesn’t know how I got it. I just wish he would be honest with me. Everything I have read says sexual contact is the only way to get it. I feel your pain! And I don’t know what to do either.